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  • Thomas Pecca, MS, CSAT, CTT

Tom Speaks on Attachment

Our parents teach us many things, right and wrong, not to cross against the light, and to eat our vegetables. They influence our belief systems on every level either in a positive or negative way. Often we mirror or rebel against what they have taught us, either way they have impacted our belief systems. Often we react to these deep seated beliefs on an unconscious level. One of the places this happens most commonly is in our beliefs about relationships, which in psychological terms is called attachment theory. Attachment theory states in simplest terms, that what we see and are given from our caregivers in early childhood sets up our expectations for future relationships. If a parent is to clingy or controlling when we are children we may believe that we must protect ourselves and cause us to be distant or resistant to commitment. If we are abandoned or neglected we may believe that we will always be left so we try to hard or are always trying to prove ourselves. These early childhood experiences set up attachment styles or the manner we most often react in relationship. The sad part is that our attachment styles are created to protect us from pain but often they just limit our ability to have healthy relationships since we react in ways that aren't always true to the situation. This is a very simplified overview but I invite you to read more about attachment and attachment style if this piqued your interest.

Thomas Pecca

MS, CSAT, CTT, Vice President of Spirit2Spirit Healing

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